Reflections on Pakistan (Part V)

Night had fallen by the time we left for the local bazaar. Our car made its way through small alleys with hidden potholes and bumps, maneuvering around what seemed more like an obstacle course than infrastructure. Abbotabad was a beautiful town despite its underdevelopment. Sitting in the lap of towering mountains, it created a sense of humility in anyone who passed through its realm. I was sitting in the back seat of the car and had the privilege to indulge in the scenery. As I peered out the window, I found nothing but the scores of mountains appearing from all directions. To my surprise, there were hundreds of shining lights coming from these mountains; it was as if distant stars had descended on them whilst retaining their radiance. I found out that these lights were coming from houses that were established there.

As we approached the bazaar, the commotion and noise increased a good deal. I had come with Abdullah Bahi and his younger brother, Wajid Bahi, who I was recently introduced to. I stepped out of the car and looked around with a sense of curiosity. There were crowds of people walking up and down the street trying hard not to walk into one another. The weather was chilly outside and because of this most people had long woolen shawls (basically, a portable blanket!) wrapped around themselves. The smell in the air was, simply put, of food. Samosay, Kabaabs, Jalaybeez, and other such snacks and sweets were creating an alluring aroma. The bazaar was set up so there were many small shops along the street but one part of the bazaar was also indoors.

I followed Abdullah and Wajid into the indoors section while hoping to discover something interesting as I continued to observe the new environment. Inside, there were shoe stores, stores selling jackets and general winter apparel, and other stores I didn’t get the chance to explore. Abdullah and Wajid walked into one of them to meet some old friends they knew. They introduced me and we exchanged greetings. I watched closely as they interacted with one another. They joked around a little bit and the rest of their conversation consisted of catching up with one another. While watching, I sensed that although they were friends, they were definitely not very close. In Pakistan, there seems to be a culture of conversing with anyone and everyone, but having true friendships is often difficult and rare. Perhaps it has to do with the code of honor which is taken by every Pakistani youth that they should never feel anyone can be as close to them as their family. I believe this to be true and it was something which my parents instilled in me as well but at times this concept transforms into something which doesn’t sit well with me. Many-a-times Desi (South Asian) parents may discourage close friendships and promote ideas like “In the end, every one will look out for their own interests”. Often, this pushes the youth towards a tendency of distrust in relationships which inevitably puts a cap on something which could potentially be beautiful. In any case, true friendships are even hard to find in America but here the few that you end up hanging out with as an adult are often those you share a close bond with.

As Abdullah and the others continued their discussion, Wajid Bahi beckoned me to his side and suggested we take a small walk around the bazaar. “So, you want to buy anything from here?” he asked. “We have all sorts of stuff and by the way, pants are very cheap here compared to America, so I highly recommend you get some”, he added before I could reply to his initial question. I knew that I had to get a few things for my friends back home and I usually like to get my tasks done before I relax, so informed Wajid Bahi of my intentions. “This time we won’t be here for long, but we’ll come again and we can shop properly”, he said. That was weird…I thought that his question implied that it was ok to shop at the time, but I guess there was more to learn about people in Pakistan. While conversing with him, I noticed Wajid Bahi liked to talk. By no means do I mean this negatively. Rather, he was just someone who was very comfortable talking and didn’t seem to be undergoing the usual anxieties associated with meeting someone new. This characteristic of talking extends to most Pakistani people. Even though I don’t like to generalize, it is simply a culturally dominant trait…basically, speech is valued. In my opinion, speaking is overrated and the more a people engage in it the more they are able to strip speech of its worth! But enough of this cultural criticism, my time with Wajid Bahi was teaching me a lot.

Another thing I noticed was that the focus of the attention wasn’t particularly focused on me, being the new guest and all. Was I expecting something that all people desire despite ceaselessly returning with empty hands? To desire the attention of another person…I knew this to be secondary to desiring the love and closeness to God and hence considered my thoughts disappointing. I think meeting new people is something that is very common in Pakistan and happens more frequently and maybe for this reason it isn’t seen as something as significant as it is in other cultures. Nonetheless, I can’t deny that both Abdullah and Wajid Bahi treated me with great hospitality and kindness.

We returned home after an hour or so. It was a refreshing first day in Pakistan and it afforded me time to get to know the culture and my cousins a little better. We concluded the night with a delicious meal cooked by Khala Zora. I headed to bed with a satisfied stomach and an anticipation of the coming day…Eid!