We ate dinner next door at Khala Zora's place. After complementing khala on the food he just finished, Ali Bahi turned to me and said: “Chalein?” ( ready to go?). I had developed a sense of attachment towards Ali Bahi. I don't quite know what it was about him. He had a very bright smile yet his eyes spoke of a pain he was trying to hide. I could see a restlessness within him. I felt he was the type of person, who would smile for others; he would keep everyone laughing while not allowing them to know his true feelings. He was very confident and outgoing too. That's what I liked most about him but at the same time it was what I was most intimidated by. I think if someone appears to be more confident than me, my natural reflex is hesitation.
In any case, when he asked me if I was ready to head back, I immediately responded with a “yep”. Wow, I thought. Even if I had wanted to stay at Khala's place, I probably wouldn't have...there was something within me that didn't want to let Ali Bahi down. As we made our way into the house, Ali Bahi asked me if I wanted to hang out for a bit before heading to bed. I enthusiastically accepted his offer. Upon entering his room, I felt a chill run down my spine. It was cold. I sat down on his bed watching him as his eyes searched the room for something he needed. “Here it is!”, he said with a jolt of feeling. It was a box of matches. He ripped one off and lit up the small gas heater on the floor. I was studying him as he was putting the matches back on the desk. I wanted to see under the garb of the superficial, but I knew that would only come in time. He finally took a seat on the carpeted floor and reached for a guitar case which was leaning against the wall. “Let me play you a few songs. I know I'm horrible but just bare with me, huh”, he said as he unbuckled the latches on the case.
As he said this, a feeling of anxiousness began to spread through my system. “Sure”, I responded, fighting hard not to make my voice sound shaky. Most music is forbidden within Islam and it is only certain types of music that are considered permissible. Since Islam is as vast an ideology as any other, there are adherents of Islam that allow for more flexibility on this issue. My set of beliefs, however, were clear when it came to music. My heart did not want to disobey my Lord and at the same time I wanted to start out on the right foot with Ali Bahi. The attachment I developed for him was not easing the burden to make the right decision. I let him play for some time as I juggled this thought in my mind. All along my sense of guilt was amassing on my chest making it harder and harder to breathe. What if he thinks I am an extremist? Or too religious? Ofcourse that translates into someone who is ignorant and for the most part follows a set of beliefs blindly. I wanted to have respect in his eyes. He was probably expecting a cousin who would think like him and could relate to him. Perhaps in another world and when I was another me, I would write the song as he played his guitar. It would have definitely brought us closer. On the other hand, I thought, the right thing is the right thing. The One who has created me is the One who gives and takes respect, so fearing losing respect was definitely a non-issue. Eventually, I mustered up the courage to tell him my stance. “Ali Bahi...”, I began. “I didn't mention this at first but I stopped listening to music a while back. I consider it a religious obligation to refrain from it.”, I finished waiting for a favorable response. “That's totally cool man. I respect your belief, bro. It isn't a big deal at all,” he said. “You should have told me straight off the bat though”. “Honestly, I didn't tell you in fear of hurting the chances of us becoming good friends. We just met and stuff so...” I responded as if I were admitting a sin I had just committed.
Our discussion really allowed me to be myself more. I was relieved of a burden and for it I thanked God. We branched off into other things as we talked that night. Ali Bahi asked me questions like why I considered music bad and what made me become so religious. He also opened up to me about his views on life and the like. I felt I was growing closer to him as we shared our thoughts. As far as music was concerned I tried to explain it to him in a way that would be easily understandable. The reasonsing is very straight forward. Islam promotes control over one's self and one's lower desires. This requires the intellect to be in charge and serve as the guiding light for one's behavior. Besides the obvious wrongs present in modern music like profanity, immorality, sexual promiscuity, and materialism, music tends to fluctuate the state of the soul rather rapidly. In other words, sometimes the music takes control of you. This ofcourse negates the entire concept of regulating one's self which is one of the basic principles of leading a healthy Islamic life. After doing this music bit, I proceeded to reminisce on how I became religious. In a nutshell, we all try to make sense of life. We are doing so at every moment of our existence. Sometimes we have a narrow vision and focus on individual aspects of our lives. For example, sometimes we are preoccupied with family problems or issues with a girl friend. Other times, we take a step back and ask those questions which encompass more than the components but the whole life. I'm talking questions like...Why do we exist?; Does this world have a purpose?; Is there a Care-Taker for this universe or is it the result of randomness and chance?; Without answering these fundamental questions, the life of a human being can be left meaningless and absurd. I am getting carried away but bear with me as I connect this back to original issue at hand. How did I become religious? I, like everyone else, was engrossed in the day to day and week to week problems of life. I had a very short term vision and was searching for immediate satisfaction. Eventually, I met a person who held religion in greater esteem than me and through that simple meeting those fundamental questions were reinvoked within me. A drive to answer them followed suit and when religion filled that hole in me and simplified this grand universe into a formula which was both sensible and comforting to the soul, it was nothing but a flame of love that ignited within me. It has been growing and fighting to remain a blaze since then and it is that same passion that has me writing these pieces of reflection today! Long story short, I fell in love with truth.
After giving Ali Bahi my heart, I awaited the chance to peek into his soul. He told me he too believed in Islam although he didn't follow all the practical guidelines. I think he felt that being a good hearted person with the right principles was most important. Ali Bahi also clarified that he knew the practical aspects of the religion were his duty to carry out and that God would judge him for his sins. From what Ali bahi related to me, I sensed within him a helplessness and at the same time a hope in the Mercy of his Lord. The helplessness in that he felt that he could not perform all of his duties and the hope that God would forgive him for these shortcomings. It would be very easy for me to judge him and say that his condition is no excuse to avoid the practical duties a Muslim has on his/her shoulders but alas...only He knows the conditions and hardships His servants undergoe. What I can say is that wherever it exists, I do not ever want to feel helpless in the face of wrong and evil. When I see this state in others I hope it pushes me to fight against my own helplessness in the face of my weaknesses and deficiencies. Easier said than done but the intention is the driving force behind the action. This reminds me of a tradition from the great leader of Islam, Imam 'Ali (as) (not a quote but the general idea), who says: “Take lesson from what you dislike in others”. There was much more to learn from 'Ali bahi and I was excited about what was to come ahead.
After our 'deep' talk, I went to my room to get some shut-eye. I was trying to maintain a routine of reciting the Qur'an those days before going to sleep and this night too, I took out the Holy Book. As I began to read, my heart stopped at what was being said. It was almost as if God knew exactly what I had been through and was talking directly to me through the Qur'an. I was in tears as I read on. For a moment I began to doubt whether this was for real...Believe it or not, the next line was as follows: “Never doubt that the essence of truth is from your Lord”. With that sense of security, I closed my eyes to a beautiful night...
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Reflections on Pakistan (Part VII)
After finishing the meal with my new-found family, there was talk of cutting the meat which was to be distributed. Eid, which is a Muslim holiday, begins with prayer at the Masjid and is succeeded by the sacraficing of an animal. Namely, a lamb, sheep, goat or cow. After sacraficing the animal, the meat is to be distributed into three portions. One for yourself, the other for kith and kin, and the last for the poor and needy. I was in Pakistan alone and my direct family from back home had requested that an animal be sacraficed on their behalf. It was a goat. Before we sacraficed the little guy, I got a chance to see it. It was beautiful. I had the opportunity to pat it and even take a few pictures with it! I was told that normally one should spend time with the animal they are going to sacrafice so that a bond develops between the person and the animal. This way the person who raises and cares for the animal has to carry out the sacrafice. In this manner, the individual truly feels how difficult it is to sacrafice something you love for a greater cause. This enactment of sacrafice on Eid is in commemoration of the Qur'anic account of Abraham being commanded to sacrafice his beloved son.
Growing up in America, I had never heard of it this way. The sacrafice never really meant much when it came to the realm of the heart. All I knew was that you had to sacrafice the animal, period. I must say that it was a valuable insight into my faith and for that matter into the nature of sacrafice itself. The true essence of sacrafice is directly linked to the condition of the heart. Meaning that inwardly, it should be a monumentous trial. It should require utmost patience, certitude, and trust in God. Through it, the heart should be strenghtened and faith perfected. I only wish that I could have had the opportunity to develop a bond with the animal to be sacraficed and thus truly feel the sacrafice but the circumstances did not permit me at the time.
In the afternoon, I accompanied Ali and Wajid Bahi to Nanni Khala's house, my other aunt. Some of the men from the family were gathering there to cut the meat. We were traveling down a narrow alleyway with buildings on both sides. The path widened after a few feet of driving and it was on the side there that we parked the car. All three of us got out of the car and walked along the path until we got to an open area. The floor was made of gray stones like in the old English towns. Sitting on it was a big puddle of blood that initally surprised me. I was careful to walk around it as we made our way to a man who was instructing a person whose profession, by the looks of it, was to kill and skin the animals to be sacraficed. Eventually, my eyes fell upon the dead cow laying on the ground. It had a lot of what was normally within it pulled out in front of its stomach. I had never seen anything like this before and believe it or not, I didn't have a sqeamish reaction. It was merely a feeling of wonder that I experienced.
The man doing the ordering was Khan uncle, my aunt's husband. We shook hands and exchanged greetings. There was some meat already waiting to be cut so the work had to begin immediately. I took my seat next to Ali Bahi who guided me on the process. I tried doing a little cutting myself but it was no sooner than I started, that I was slowing everyone down. Because of this I was given a different task. It is funny how sometimes you really want to help but the result of your good intention is negative. I almost felt helpless coming from an environment where I had learned the ins and outs of many day to day tasks to a place where I couldn't handle one simple task properly. It was as though I was starting all over and had to re-learn the basics of living in a society. I suppose it is natural given that it was a totally different culture and people. It also made me realize how helpless Man really is...it takes him an extremely long amount of time to get comfortable with and master his environment and the minute you take him out of his comfort zone, its back to square one!
After we finished cutting the meat, it was time to distribute a portion to the poor. Khan uncle was in charge of the task. Many young kids with scruffy clothes came running to get the meat. Before long, a crowd of young children gathered around Khan uncle. Some had come with bags made of cloth, others with plastic bags, and some even with pots. It was scene that truly took me aback. What was most disturbing to me was that there was no sense of self dignity in the manner with which these children were begging. They were pushing one another out of the way and practically fighting each other to put their bags before Khan uncle. I sensed that those children were much older than their age. There were no cartoons or fairy tales on their minds...they were focused. They had a goal and purpose in mind and were willing to do anything to accomplish it. I wondered if those children had been sent by their parents because it was more effective in gaining the sympathy of others. It was a sad thought but I wouldn't be surprised if it turned out to be true. Amongst the crowd of children was a woman who was also pushing and shoving to put her pot before Khan uncle. Once he filled it with meat, she would take the meat out and say to Khan uncle, “You didn't give me anything.” She did this a number of times before Khan uncle began to yell at her. “Fear God!”, he said over and over again. The scene was really making me sick. I thought to myself, the audacity of that woman! First of all, she was shamelessly fighting with the children to get the meat and secondly she was using deception as a tool to fulfill her needs. I wasn't too happy about Khan uncle's reaction either. I suppose I wanted him to be gentler in the way he approached the situation.
I told Ali Bahi how I felt but didn't get much of a response. Nonetheless, I carried an ill feeling in my breast all the way back home. I was hoping I could bounce my thoughts off of someone else and that chance eventually came when I talked to my cousin Sammi. When I expressed my feelings to her, she had a totally different stance. At first I couldn't quite understand where she was coming from so a small argument broke out. Needless to say, throughout our discussion we were both observing our manners. She was doing so more than myself, given that I get very passionate at times. Her point was simple: What I saw was the natural result of poverty on a people. Essentially, poverty drives people to such a low point that they lose all manners and sense of self-respect. I, on the other hand, felt that poverty was no excuse to forego one's manners and morality. In retrospect, there are some alterations I've made to my stance. For one, there is no way that I would be as certain about what I was saying if I had actually been in the shoes of those children and lived their lives. In a nut shell, it is very easy to judge a people when you are not in their position. I wondered whether their parents had even given them the concept of standing by principles like honesty, integrity, and self-respect. Some of them probably didn't even have any parents and therefore the streets must have been their teacher and best friend. In such a situation, could they really be blamed? I imagine being one of those children initially having my God-given sense of morality. I wonder how long it would last when I would see all the other children around me competing with each other for ends meet. In such an environment, it is almost certain that a moral child would starve to death. Survival of the fittest! I find myself amazed at using an evolutionary concept more applicable to animals for these children...the offspring of humanity. Despite this new-found realization, I do believe that ideally noone should give up their morality under any circumstance. There are certain things, after all, that are worth dying for. I also feel motivated to change the circumstances of the poor after seeing and experiencing such a scene.
It was quite a day of discovery and introspection. Tommorrow lay ahead in this strange land that I was born in...Pakistan.
Growing up in America, I had never heard of it this way. The sacrafice never really meant much when it came to the realm of the heart. All I knew was that you had to sacrafice the animal, period. I must say that it was a valuable insight into my faith and for that matter into the nature of sacrafice itself. The true essence of sacrafice is directly linked to the condition of the heart. Meaning that inwardly, it should be a monumentous trial. It should require utmost patience, certitude, and trust in God. Through it, the heart should be strenghtened and faith perfected. I only wish that I could have had the opportunity to develop a bond with the animal to be sacraficed and thus truly feel the sacrafice but the circumstances did not permit me at the time.
In the afternoon, I accompanied Ali and Wajid Bahi to Nanni Khala's house, my other aunt. Some of the men from the family were gathering there to cut the meat. We were traveling down a narrow alleyway with buildings on both sides. The path widened after a few feet of driving and it was on the side there that we parked the car. All three of us got out of the car and walked along the path until we got to an open area. The floor was made of gray stones like in the old English towns. Sitting on it was a big puddle of blood that initally surprised me. I was careful to walk around it as we made our way to a man who was instructing a person whose profession, by the looks of it, was to kill and skin the animals to be sacraficed. Eventually, my eyes fell upon the dead cow laying on the ground. It had a lot of what was normally within it pulled out in front of its stomach. I had never seen anything like this before and believe it or not, I didn't have a sqeamish reaction. It was merely a feeling of wonder that I experienced.
The man doing the ordering was Khan uncle, my aunt's husband. We shook hands and exchanged greetings. There was some meat already waiting to be cut so the work had to begin immediately. I took my seat next to Ali Bahi who guided me on the process. I tried doing a little cutting myself but it was no sooner than I started, that I was slowing everyone down. Because of this I was given a different task. It is funny how sometimes you really want to help but the result of your good intention is negative. I almost felt helpless coming from an environment where I had learned the ins and outs of many day to day tasks to a place where I couldn't handle one simple task properly. It was as though I was starting all over and had to re-learn the basics of living in a society. I suppose it is natural given that it was a totally different culture and people. It also made me realize how helpless Man really is...it takes him an extremely long amount of time to get comfortable with and master his environment and the minute you take him out of his comfort zone, its back to square one!
After we finished cutting the meat, it was time to distribute a portion to the poor. Khan uncle was in charge of the task. Many young kids with scruffy clothes came running to get the meat. Before long, a crowd of young children gathered around Khan uncle. Some had come with bags made of cloth, others with plastic bags, and some even with pots. It was scene that truly took me aback. What was most disturbing to me was that there was no sense of self dignity in the manner with which these children were begging. They were pushing one another out of the way and practically fighting each other to put their bags before Khan uncle. I sensed that those children were much older than their age. There were no cartoons or fairy tales on their minds...they were focused. They had a goal and purpose in mind and were willing to do anything to accomplish it. I wondered if those children had been sent by their parents because it was more effective in gaining the sympathy of others. It was a sad thought but I wouldn't be surprised if it turned out to be true. Amongst the crowd of children was a woman who was also pushing and shoving to put her pot before Khan uncle. Once he filled it with meat, she would take the meat out and say to Khan uncle, “You didn't give me anything.” She did this a number of times before Khan uncle began to yell at her. “Fear God!”, he said over and over again. The scene was really making me sick. I thought to myself, the audacity of that woman! First of all, she was shamelessly fighting with the children to get the meat and secondly she was using deception as a tool to fulfill her needs. I wasn't too happy about Khan uncle's reaction either. I suppose I wanted him to be gentler in the way he approached the situation.
I told Ali Bahi how I felt but didn't get much of a response. Nonetheless, I carried an ill feeling in my breast all the way back home. I was hoping I could bounce my thoughts off of someone else and that chance eventually came when I talked to my cousin Sammi. When I expressed my feelings to her, she had a totally different stance. At first I couldn't quite understand where she was coming from so a small argument broke out. Needless to say, throughout our discussion we were both observing our manners. She was doing so more than myself, given that I get very passionate at times. Her point was simple: What I saw was the natural result of poverty on a people. Essentially, poverty drives people to such a low point that they lose all manners and sense of self-respect. I, on the other hand, felt that poverty was no excuse to forego one's manners and morality. In retrospect, there are some alterations I've made to my stance. For one, there is no way that I would be as certain about what I was saying if I had actually been in the shoes of those children and lived their lives. In a nut shell, it is very easy to judge a people when you are not in their position. I wondered whether their parents had even given them the concept of standing by principles like honesty, integrity, and self-respect. Some of them probably didn't even have any parents and therefore the streets must have been their teacher and best friend. In such a situation, could they really be blamed? I imagine being one of those children initially having my God-given sense of morality. I wonder how long it would last when I would see all the other children around me competing with each other for ends meet. In such an environment, it is almost certain that a moral child would starve to death. Survival of the fittest! I find myself amazed at using an evolutionary concept more applicable to animals for these children...the offspring of humanity. Despite this new-found realization, I do believe that ideally noone should give up their morality under any circumstance. There are certain things, after all, that are worth dying for. I also feel motivated to change the circumstances of the poor after seeing and experiencing such a scene.
It was quite a day of discovery and introspection. Tommorrow lay ahead in this strange land that I was born in...Pakistan.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Reflections on Pakistan (Part VI)
Eid day...I woke up from the knocking on my room door. It was Mami letting me know that Eid prayer would begin shortly and so I was to get ready pronto. I made my way into the bathroom to carry out the shave and shower routine. It was there that I confronted the first struggle of the day: how to adjust the water temperature? It was an arduous task indeed. At first it was burning hot...then freezing cold...this process repeated for some time until I found a bearable temperature. After showering, I hurriedly put on my shalwar kameez (native apparel) and set out to find Ali Bahi (Brother). He was all ready and waiting for me. I felt burdened. I have always hated being the reason for getting others late to an important event. Unfortunately, punctuality was never my strong point so its consequences were manifesting yet again. We rushed into the car and started out for the Masjid (Mosque). It was at a convenient five minute drive from the house which was quite different from the half-hour to hour commute that is often required to get to a Masjid in the States.
After we parked the car, we walked down a muddy pathway leading to the entrance of the Masjid. I could see my breath in the air which gave testimony to the cold weather. Upon entering, Ali Bahi took me to the side and said, “Be careful where you leave your shoes. Someone may steal them”. I watched him, puzzled at what he had just said. After all, it was a Masjid. A place of worship. How could someone be so indecent as to steal from a place where God was being remembered? Well, there wasn't much be done except taking heed to the words of wisdom just spoken. I followed Ali Bahi's lead in placing my shoes in a small bin located inside the Masjid. This particular Masjid had two segments: indoors and outdoors. The indoors segment was a little crowded so we took a seat in the portion which was more exposed to the chill! I don't like when I complain, but I can't deny that the weather was making me uncomfortable. To my surprise, we had arrived early. I wondered why Mami had been rushing us, then? A question I reserved for Ali Bahi until after prayer. The Imam (leader of prayer) was giving a speech in Urdu (Native tongue in Pakistan). Unfortunately, I was zoning in and out of what he was saying. Some of me was still feeling annoyed by the cold weather which kept stealing my attention and on top of that, I wasn't feeling too spiritual. I don't know exactly why. Part of the reason, I suppose, lies in what I call my prejudice towards 'Pakistani Islam'.
'Pakistani Islam' isn't really a type of Islam but rather an understanding I developed by observing how Pakistani parents often introduce the religion of Islam to their children. Some of the key characteristics of 'Pakistani Islam' include teaching the children how to read Arabic but not understand it. It is encouraged to read and memorize the Qur'an (Holy Scripture in Islam) even if it is without an understanding of the Book one has just inscribed in his/her heart! All in all, the stress is not placed on striving to grasp the message but rather on becoming containers of the message. Too many a times I have seen individuals who have memorized the Holy Qur'an but the effect of the message is not manifest in their being. I believe that truly inscribing the Holy Qur'an within one's heart should totally transform the person. Only when the heart feels every word of the Holy Qur'an as a reality can one truly be considered to know the Scripture by heart. In any case, continuing on with my description of 'Pakistani Islam'. Another aspect of it includes sharing stories that are claimed to be from the Holy Book but end up being from a tradition or an Islamic Poem. Not to down the stories, because they often have beautiful and priceless lessons but rather to show that we must be careful to cite our sources properly. Although there is much more to this concept, I will conclude with a characteristic that really bothers me. Within 'Pakistani Islam', the spirit of reflecting and questioning is discouraged! I believe that if a person possesses the truth, then no falsehood can stand against it. There is nothing to be afraid of because as Allah (swt) says in the Qur'an “Truth is distinct from Falsehood”. In fact, reflecting and questioning one's beliefs is precisely what leads to the strengthing of faith. The only time this is not of benefit is if the community does not provide the answers to the youth or the youth are not sincerely searching for the answers. Therefore, it is important for all the members of a Muslim Community to be well versed in the teachings of and philosophy behind Islam. Nonetheless, this should suffice for an understanding of my biased towards 'Pakistani Islam'.
It was cold and I was not very spiritual as I mentioned earlier. My negative feelings towards 'Pakistani Islam' only added fuel to the fire. And so, I had to fight all this to try and reap some benefit from what the Imam was saying. This struggle within me was an inevitable result of the truth that I knew all too well: This man may be sincere and sincere speech always has a positive effect on the heart. Unfortunately, the speech was very short and in the midst of my struggle it felt even shorter. Once it ended, everyone got on their feet to congregate for the prayer. I followed Ali Bahi into the indoors section of the Masjid. There was a cardboard box next to the wall which contained Topis (prayer hats) for the people to take at will. I decided not to. I did feel left out on my decision though, because almost everyone in the Masjid was wearing one. O well, I thought...No biggie. After the prayer, the eid sermon was delivered. It is considered a neccesary part of the Eid prayer. I could not grasp much of it because it was spoken very rapidly in Arabic. It was clear that the Imam had memorized what he was saying because he was speaking without any sense of consciousness to his words. This I didn't like because even if everyone in the room doesn't understand it, it is still important to say it like you mean it. Ofcourse, he may be well intended and so I am not passing judgement on the Imam. Also, my biased towards 'Pakistani Islam' may have distorted my vision a bit. If anything, however, I had the opportunity to take lesson from what I did not like.
On our way out, I grabbed my shoes from the bin. They were right where I left them so that was a relief. We met up with Abdullah and Wajid Bahi who were both due for some eid hugs. Wajid Bahi had a mischievous smile on his face. We found out later that their family had played a trick on us to get us to wake up early because supposedly Ali Bahi is known to get late. Well, that put both of us in the same boat. As mentioned earlier, punctuality is not my best friend. We drove back home to a goodly meal. Soon after I was to leave for another adventure...
After we parked the car, we walked down a muddy pathway leading to the entrance of the Masjid. I could see my breath in the air which gave testimony to the cold weather. Upon entering, Ali Bahi took me to the side and said, “Be careful where you leave your shoes. Someone may steal them”. I watched him, puzzled at what he had just said. After all, it was a Masjid. A place of worship. How could someone be so indecent as to steal from a place where God was being remembered? Well, there wasn't much be done except taking heed to the words of wisdom just spoken. I followed Ali Bahi's lead in placing my shoes in a small bin located inside the Masjid. This particular Masjid had two segments: indoors and outdoors. The indoors segment was a little crowded so we took a seat in the portion which was more exposed to the chill! I don't like when I complain, but I can't deny that the weather was making me uncomfortable. To my surprise, we had arrived early. I wondered why Mami had been rushing us, then? A question I reserved for Ali Bahi until after prayer. The Imam (leader of prayer) was giving a speech in Urdu (Native tongue in Pakistan). Unfortunately, I was zoning in and out of what he was saying. Some of me was still feeling annoyed by the cold weather which kept stealing my attention and on top of that, I wasn't feeling too spiritual. I don't know exactly why. Part of the reason, I suppose, lies in what I call my prejudice towards 'Pakistani Islam'.
'Pakistani Islam' isn't really a type of Islam but rather an understanding I developed by observing how Pakistani parents often introduce the religion of Islam to their children. Some of the key characteristics of 'Pakistani Islam' include teaching the children how to read Arabic but not understand it. It is encouraged to read and memorize the Qur'an (Holy Scripture in Islam) even if it is without an understanding of the Book one has just inscribed in his/her heart! All in all, the stress is not placed on striving to grasp the message but rather on becoming containers of the message. Too many a times I have seen individuals who have memorized the Holy Qur'an but the effect of the message is not manifest in their being. I believe that truly inscribing the Holy Qur'an within one's heart should totally transform the person. Only when the heart feels every word of the Holy Qur'an as a reality can one truly be considered to know the Scripture by heart. In any case, continuing on with my description of 'Pakistani Islam'. Another aspect of it includes sharing stories that are claimed to be from the Holy Book but end up being from a tradition or an Islamic Poem. Not to down the stories, because they often have beautiful and priceless lessons but rather to show that we must be careful to cite our sources properly. Although there is much more to this concept, I will conclude with a characteristic that really bothers me. Within 'Pakistani Islam', the spirit of reflecting and questioning is discouraged! I believe that if a person possesses the truth, then no falsehood can stand against it. There is nothing to be afraid of because as Allah (swt) says in the Qur'an “Truth is distinct from Falsehood”. In fact, reflecting and questioning one's beliefs is precisely what leads to the strengthing of faith. The only time this is not of benefit is if the community does not provide the answers to the youth or the youth are not sincerely searching for the answers. Therefore, it is important for all the members of a Muslim Community to be well versed in the teachings of and philosophy behind Islam. Nonetheless, this should suffice for an understanding of my biased towards 'Pakistani Islam'.
It was cold and I was not very spiritual as I mentioned earlier. My negative feelings towards 'Pakistani Islam' only added fuel to the fire. And so, I had to fight all this to try and reap some benefit from what the Imam was saying. This struggle within me was an inevitable result of the truth that I knew all too well: This man may be sincere and sincere speech always has a positive effect on the heart. Unfortunately, the speech was very short and in the midst of my struggle it felt even shorter. Once it ended, everyone got on their feet to congregate for the prayer. I followed Ali Bahi into the indoors section of the Masjid. There was a cardboard box next to the wall which contained Topis (prayer hats) for the people to take at will. I decided not to. I did feel left out on my decision though, because almost everyone in the Masjid was wearing one. O well, I thought...No biggie. After the prayer, the eid sermon was delivered. It is considered a neccesary part of the Eid prayer. I could not grasp much of it because it was spoken very rapidly in Arabic. It was clear that the Imam had memorized what he was saying because he was speaking without any sense of consciousness to his words. This I didn't like because even if everyone in the room doesn't understand it, it is still important to say it like you mean it. Ofcourse, he may be well intended and so I am not passing judgement on the Imam. Also, my biased towards 'Pakistani Islam' may have distorted my vision a bit. If anything, however, I had the opportunity to take lesson from what I did not like.
On our way out, I grabbed my shoes from the bin. They were right where I left them so that was a relief. We met up with Abdullah and Wajid Bahi who were both due for some eid hugs. Wajid Bahi had a mischievous smile on his face. We found out later that their family had played a trick on us to get us to wake up early because supposedly Ali Bahi is known to get late. Well, that put both of us in the same boat. As mentioned earlier, punctuality is not my best friend. We drove back home to a goodly meal. Soon after I was to leave for another adventure...
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Reflections on Pakistan (Part V)
Night had fallen by the time we left for the local bazaar. Our car made its way through small alleys with hidden potholes and bumps, maneuvering around what seemed more like an obstacle course than infrastructure. Abbotabad was a beautiful town despite its underdevelopment. Sitting in the lap of towering mountains, it created a sense of humility in anyone who passed through its realm. I was sitting in the back seat of the car and had the privilege to indulge in the scenery. As I peered out the window, I found nothing but the scores of mountains appearing from all directions. To my surprise, there were hundreds of shining lights coming from these mountains; it was as if distant stars had descended on them whilst retaining their radiance. I found out that these lights were coming from houses that were established there.
As we approached the bazaar, the commotion and noise increased a good deal. I had come with Abdullah Bahi and his younger brother, Wajid Bahi, who I was recently introduced to. I stepped out of the car and looked around with a sense of curiosity. There were crowds of people walking up and down the street trying hard not to walk into one another. The weather was chilly outside and because of this most people had long woolen shawls (basically, a portable blanket!) wrapped around themselves. The smell in the air was, simply put, of food. Samosay, Kabaabs, Jalaybeez, and other such snacks and sweets were creating an alluring aroma. The bazaar was set up so there were many small shops along the street but one part of the bazaar was also indoors.
I followed Abdullah and Wajid into the indoors section while hoping to discover something interesting as I continued to observe the new environment. Inside, there were shoe stores, stores selling jackets and general winter apparel, and other stores I didn’t get the chance to explore. Abdullah and Wajid walked into one of them to meet some old friends they knew. They introduced me and we exchanged greetings. I watched closely as they interacted with one another. They joked around a little bit and the rest of their conversation consisted of catching up with one another. While watching, I sensed that although they were friends, they were definitely not very close. In
As Abdullah and the others continued their discussion, Wajid Bahi beckoned me to his side and suggested we take a small walk around the bazaar. “So, you want to buy anything from here?” he asked. “We have all sorts of stuff and by the way, pants are very cheap here compared to
Another thing I noticed was that the focus of the attention wasn’t particularly focused on me, being the new guest and all. Was I expecting something that all people desire despite ceaselessly returning with empty hands? To desire the attention of another person…I knew this to be secondary to desiring the love and closeness to God and hence considered my thoughts disappointing. I think meeting new people is something that is very common in Pakistan and happens more frequently and maybe for this reason it isn’t seen as something as significant as it is in other cultures. Nonetheless, I can’t deny that both Abdullah and Wajid Bahi treated me with great hospitality and kindness.
We returned home after an hour or so. It was a refreshing first day in
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Love of God
Bismillah Ar-Rahman Ar-Rahim,
I begin in the name of Allah (God), The Beneficent, The Merciful.
My Dear brothers and sisters of all faiths and beliefs. I just wanted to share something with you all which I feel is so necessary for every human being to have. I say with confidence that this is not a thing to be desired but rather a thing which we all crucially need. For this reason, I sincerely pray that we all take from this what we can and use it to strengthen each other.
All of us, no matter what walk of life we are on or what level of understanding we have reached thus far, have a common goal. This common goal is true happiness. Deep witin our core we search for this peace hoping that something will quench this undying thirst. The poor man looks for it in wealth. The student looks for it in a successful career. Some look for it in finding a soul mate. But the essence of this search is that inclination to find true happiness.
Can our Beloved Creator allow for this need to stir within the depths of our being and not provide us with the remedy? Would he not provide us with the very need He placed within us?
The Holy Qur'an beautifully answers us:
"In the remembrance of God do the hearts find satisfaction" (13:28)
God has revealed something which is so powerful and profound that it makes one shake in gratitude. In the first place, He has given us the gift of life when there was none to care about whether we exist or not and on top of this He has honored us to such a degree that He has made Himself the answer to our undying need! When He takes His place in our hearts, there will be nothing more our essence needs and nothing else will be desired.
There are two traditions of our Holy Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) which are worthy of our reflection:
"The heart is the sanctuary of God"
"The heart is the throne of the Beneficent"
These two traditions show us that the heart is for God and God alone. Noone and nothing else belongs there. If we try to love the transient things in life, they will pass. Nothing lasts except for the love of God.
This love of God can be replaced by nothing else and once we have it there is nothing you and I won't do for it. You will give everything you have as long as you know that your Beloved is with you. Such beauty and tranquility does the heart feel in loving God. This is a thing we all need to develop within us. I swear in sincerity that nothing compares to the peace that loving God brings.
If I could but express it in words but it would never do justice. All the tears we ever cried for His sake would not be able to measure up to thanking Him for giving us this blessing of loving Him. This should be our true goal and the aim of all our efforts.
I want to leave you with a few words that are very special and dear to my heart. They come from a sincere servant of God, supplicating to His Beloved as his heart trembles and his tears fall freely:
My God, who can have tasted the sweetness of Your love and wanted another in place of You?
Who could have become intimate with Your nearness and then sought removal from You?
These words of beauty come from none other than my Beloved Imam Zainul 'Abideen (as). I can not imagine what he must have been feeling as these phrases left his mouth. How pure was this man's heart? How intense was his longing? There is none that can taste the love of God and then want anything else after it, as my beloved Imam has mentioned. I pray that we all can reach this true love of God. I conclude with a verse from the Qur'an:
"And the true believers are overflowing with love for God" (2:165)
-------------------
If you are interested in reading the full version of the supplication I cited above, you can visit the link below:
http://www.duas.org/sajjadiya/dua77.htm
I begin in the name of Allah (God), The Beneficent, The Merciful.
My Dear brothers and sisters of all faiths and beliefs. I just wanted to share something with you all which I feel is so necessary for every human being to have. I say with confidence that this is not a thing to be desired but rather a thing which we all crucially need. For this reason, I sincerely pray that we all take from this what we can and use it to strengthen each other.
All of us, no matter what walk of life we are on or what level of understanding we have reached thus far, have a common goal. This common goal is true happiness. Deep witin our core we search for this peace hoping that something will quench this undying thirst. The poor man looks for it in wealth. The student looks for it in a successful career. Some look for it in finding a soul mate. But the essence of this search is that inclination to find true happiness.
Can our Beloved Creator allow for this need to stir within the depths of our being and not provide us with the remedy? Would he not provide us with the very need He placed within us?
The Holy Qur'an beautifully answers us:
"In the remembrance of God do the hearts find satisfaction" (13:28)
God has revealed something which is so powerful and profound that it makes one shake in gratitude. In the first place, He has given us the gift of life when there was none to care about whether we exist or not and on top of this He has honored us to such a degree that He has made Himself the answer to our undying need! When He takes His place in our hearts, there will be nothing more our essence needs and nothing else will be desired.
There are two traditions of our Holy Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) which are worthy of our reflection:
"The heart is the sanctuary of God"
"The heart is the throne of the Beneficent"
These two traditions show us that the heart is for God and God alone. Noone and nothing else belongs there. If we try to love the transient things in life, they will pass. Nothing lasts except for the love of God.
This love of God can be replaced by nothing else and once we have it there is nothing you and I won't do for it. You will give everything you have as long as you know that your Beloved is with you. Such beauty and tranquility does the heart feel in loving God. This is a thing we all need to develop within us. I swear in sincerity that nothing compares to the peace that loving God brings.
If I could but express it in words but it would never do justice. All the tears we ever cried for His sake would not be able to measure up to thanking Him for giving us this blessing of loving Him. This should be our true goal and the aim of all our efforts.
I want to leave you with a few words that are very special and dear to my heart. They come from a sincere servant of God, supplicating to His Beloved as his heart trembles and his tears fall freely:
My God, who can have tasted the sweetness of Your love and wanted another in place of You?
Who could have become intimate with Your nearness and then sought removal from You?
These words of beauty come from none other than my Beloved Imam Zainul 'Abideen (as). I can not imagine what he must have been feeling as these phrases left his mouth. How pure was this man's heart? How intense was his longing? There is none that can taste the love of God and then want anything else after it, as my beloved Imam has mentioned. I pray that we all can reach this true love of God. I conclude with a verse from the Qur'an:
"And the true believers are overflowing with love for God" (2:165)
-------------------
If you are interested in reading the full version of the supplication I cited above, you can visit the link below:
http://www.duas.org/sajjadiya/dua77.htm
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Who Created Who?
The “intellectuals” and “truly informed” personalities of today, tell us that belief in God is a flimsy hypothesis which has no credibility on the grounds of reasoning. With this understanding, many people have proposed different theories regarding how religion and belief in God was created by society. I, on the other hand, believe that those who reject the belief in God have no evidence for what they claim. In fact, I believe the evidence points in the opposite direction of what is commonly thought. So, is it really reasonable to think that the belief in a Creator is a myth? Or that religion was just cooked up by someone who might have wanted to exercise his power over people? Well, let’s put these questions to the test by examining them with a closer eye.
I always hear people say, “If I can't see God, then how can I believe in Him?” This shaky argument is surprisingly still the basis of thought for many atheists in the scientific community. Science is limited to the five senses. Therefore, it can never tell us anything about matters that are beyond sense perception. For example, questions of morality and human values are outside of the scope of science. It is a field that reveals a partial knowledge of our reality, but too many of us get fooled into thinking it is the sole criterion for truth. Since, God is a being beyond sense perception, how can we use our senses as a tool for determining whether He exists or not?
Another common reason for opposing religion is that it is used as a tool for propaganda and a means to gather people under the flag of fear. By creating the notion of an after-life where the wrong-doers will be punished, one can control the behavior of the masses. This is hardly evidence of the creation of religion by society. First of all, this assumes that religions are fundamentally based around fear and it is because of this fear that people follow a religion and behave morally. This couldn't be further from the truth. Ask an adherent of any religion why he/she has faith. You will hardly ever hear “because I am scared”. Talk to a Christian and they will tell you that love is what drives them towards religion rather than fear.
Besides, is fear the only way to get people to behave? Doesn’t a person naturally feel good when he gives to the needy or does some other good action? So why does fear need to be used to propagate good? If everyone decided not to help society and only look after personal interests, humanity would be doomed. I would argue that education could also be used as a means to rectifying behavior. One could teach the people that acting solely on self-interest will lead to the destruction of society as a whole. Education would be a better alternative than using fear as the tool. So why would anyone go through the trouble of creating a complex religious dogma?
Although, it’s possible to deny the truth of a particular religion, it is irrational to deny the existence of certain people in the past who claimed to be prophets. The principle of probability allows us to realize that certain events must have taken place in history. For example, millions of people have written and spoken about the wars of past, so we can be sure that these wars did indeed take place. It is improbable and illogical for us to think that all these people were involved in some big conspiracy in which they all joined hands in lying to us. What are the odds? Using the same reasoning, we have to admit the existence of personalities such as Jesus and Muhammad who promoted certain messages. How can such an enormous amount of people write about the lives of these personalities, if they really didn’t exist? So let's reflect. The creators of religion decided they needed to tame the behavior of man. So someone volunteered to promote righteousness even in the face of persecution and torture. On top of this, entire communities walked behind these people ready to bear hardships and trials. If Jesus' only motive was to control the behavior of man, would he be willing to give his life for it? If Muhammad was a fiend for power, then why face persecution at the hands of the Arab tribes that lived in his time?
We often try to think about how religions could have been created by people, but have we ever questioned this very thinking? Where did the atheistic and anti-religious movements of today come from? One driving factor was the past resistance of the Christian elites to scientific research which led to the prosecution of great people like Galileo. This divorcing of religion and science is what led many good-intended people to turn their backs on religion because of its closed-mindedness to new discoveries. The mistake these people made was that they threw the baby out with the bath water and rejected any notion of a Creator, whatsoever.
So here we are today witnessing this great divide between science and religion. But does the scientific evidence really point towards a universe free from the need of a Creator? The prominent and most heavily backed theory regarding the origin of the universe is the big-bang theory. The theory of the universe being eternal has been completely disproven by science. The big-bang theory states that there was a big explosion which caused time, matter, and space to come into existence. Prior to this bang, there was nothing. So, let's examine what's being said. There was absolutely nothing and then a bang causes the universe to come into existence. The question of the day is “can something come out of nothing?” Have you ever seen a blob of nothingness flying 80 mph hit another blob of nothingness flying at 50 mph and boom! Something miraculously appears. Obviously, something had to have caused the bang...something outside of time, matter, and space; not physical but metaphysical; perhaps, a Creator or whatever name you would like to give it. Is this evidence or not? I'll let you decide.
I always hear people say, “If I can't see God, then how can I believe in Him?” This shaky argument is surprisingly still the basis of thought for many atheists in the scientific community. Science is limited to the five senses. Therefore, it can never tell us anything about matters that are beyond sense perception. For example, questions of morality and human values are outside of the scope of science. It is a field that reveals a partial knowledge of our reality, but too many of us get fooled into thinking it is the sole criterion for truth. Since, God is a being beyond sense perception, how can we use our senses as a tool for determining whether He exists or not?
Another common reason for opposing religion is that it is used as a tool for propaganda and a means to gather people under the flag of fear. By creating the notion of an after-life where the wrong-doers will be punished, one can control the behavior of the masses. This is hardly evidence of the creation of religion by society. First of all, this assumes that religions are fundamentally based around fear and it is because of this fear that people follow a religion and behave morally. This couldn't be further from the truth. Ask an adherent of any religion why he/she has faith. You will hardly ever hear “because I am scared”. Talk to a Christian and they will tell you that love is what drives them towards religion rather than fear.
Besides, is fear the only way to get people to behave? Doesn’t a person naturally feel good when he gives to the needy or does some other good action? So why does fear need to be used to propagate good? If everyone decided not to help society and only look after personal interests, humanity would be doomed. I would argue that education could also be used as a means to rectifying behavior. One could teach the people that acting solely on self-interest will lead to the destruction of society as a whole. Education would be a better alternative than using fear as the tool. So why would anyone go through the trouble of creating a complex religious dogma?
Although, it’s possible to deny the truth of a particular religion, it is irrational to deny the existence of certain people in the past who claimed to be prophets. The principle of probability allows us to realize that certain events must have taken place in history. For example, millions of people have written and spoken about the wars of past, so we can be sure that these wars did indeed take place. It is improbable and illogical for us to think that all these people were involved in some big conspiracy in which they all joined hands in lying to us. What are the odds? Using the same reasoning, we have to admit the existence of personalities such as Jesus and Muhammad who promoted certain messages. How can such an enormous amount of people write about the lives of these personalities, if they really didn’t exist? So let's reflect. The creators of religion decided they needed to tame the behavior of man. So someone volunteered to promote righteousness even in the face of persecution and torture. On top of this, entire communities walked behind these people ready to bear hardships and trials. If Jesus' only motive was to control the behavior of man, would he be willing to give his life for it? If Muhammad was a fiend for power, then why face persecution at the hands of the Arab tribes that lived in his time?
We often try to think about how religions could have been created by people, but have we ever questioned this very thinking? Where did the atheistic and anti-religious movements of today come from? One driving factor was the past resistance of the Christian elites to scientific research which led to the prosecution of great people like Galileo. This divorcing of religion and science is what led many good-intended people to turn their backs on religion because of its closed-mindedness to new discoveries. The mistake these people made was that they threw the baby out with the bath water and rejected any notion of a Creator, whatsoever.
So here we are today witnessing this great divide between science and religion. But does the scientific evidence really point towards a universe free from the need of a Creator? The prominent and most heavily backed theory regarding the origin of the universe is the big-bang theory. The theory of the universe being eternal has been completely disproven by science. The big-bang theory states that there was a big explosion which caused time, matter, and space to come into existence. Prior to this bang, there was nothing. So, let's examine what's being said. There was absolutely nothing and then a bang causes the universe to come into existence. The question of the day is “can something come out of nothing?” Have you ever seen a blob of nothingness flying 80 mph hit another blob of nothingness flying at 50 mph and boom! Something miraculously appears. Obviously, something had to have caused the bang...something outside of time, matter, and space; not physical but metaphysical; perhaps, a Creator or whatever name you would like to give it. Is this evidence or not? I'll let you decide.
Sunday, April 1, 2007
Undescribed Feelings
The sun, moon, and stars
Working in harmony, mysterious and far
I live and see the surface but have a feeling something is under
I feel this feeling when I see a new born smile
Or when I think back to the days of youth, when me and you would run wild
Taking out the old photo ablum always hits the spot
So many insignificant occasions when me and my little sister fought
And you know how the little things turn out to be big
Those are the ones that you always come to miss
Undescribed these feelings
When underneath the whole picture, there's something unique I'm seeing
They're telling me there is no God to believe in,
When these are the places where He can be so easily seen in
Working in harmony, mysterious and far
I live and see the surface but have a feeling something is under
I feel this feeling when I see a new born smile
Or when I think back to the days of youth, when me and you would run wild
Taking out the old photo ablum always hits the spot
So many insignificant occasions when me and my little sister fought
And you know how the little things turn out to be big
Those are the ones that you always come to miss
Undescribed these feelings
When underneath the whole picture, there's something unique I'm seeing
They're telling me there is no God to believe in,
When these are the places where He can be so easily seen in
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